


love is strange

by gh0stface



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bagginshield Wedding, Don't Cancel Me, Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Dwarf Culture & Customs, First Dance, Fluff, Hobbit Culture & Customs, I Have No Idea What Goes On At Weddings, Light Angst, M/M, Making Up Dwarf and Hobbit Culture, So I Just Came Up With Something That Sounded Like It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wedding Day, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, wedding fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29677629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0stface/pseuds/gh0stface
Summary: 5 things that go wrong on Bilbo and Thorin's wedding day.And 1 thing that goes right.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins & Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	love is strange

_**1\. The Flowers** _

One of the very first things that were planned for the wedding was the floral arrangements. _ Get it out of the way early _ , they decided, and that way there would be less room for mistakes when the day actually rolled around. It was agreed upon rather early that the floral arrangements would be made up from some from the Shire, and some of the beautiful plants that bloomed in the summer, on the road between Erebor and Dale. To show appreciation of both Thorin and Bilbo’s homelands. 

But somehow, even with them going out of their way to get the flowers sorted early, things still went wrong. 

Bilbo first noticed it when the fauntlings from the Shire were threading the flowers through Bilbo’s tawny curls, and he had to squint at himself in the mirror and rub at his eyes to make sure he was seeing it right and his vision wasn’t blurred from the lack of sleep he’d had the previous night with all his worrying. Bilbo had specifically picked white flowers both from the Shire and Erebor, to match the white silk garments that both he and Thorin were adorned in. And the florist sent them…

_ Red flowers.  _

It wasn’t the worst thing that could have gone wrong in the world, and Bilbo convinced himself that it would just be  _ his _ flowers that were wrong, that he would make it outside and find that every other flower was white. It was just a minor mistake, and Bilbo was sure just that one little thing wouldn’t completely ruin the day for him, even if he was widely considered something of a perfectionist. And yes, Bilbo was slightly annoyed when he walked out into the beautifully decorated field and saw that all of the other flowers were, in fact, red. Including the ones that had been braided into Thorin’s beard. 

But the other decorations, the beautiful white arch with vines and (red) flowers wrapped around it, the rows of white benches filled with all of their friends and close family, and the path of (red) flower petals leading right down the makeshift aisle and towards his soon-to-be husband was enough to distract Bilbo from the small mistake, for now at least.

Little did he know that was only the beginning of the chain events that almost ruined Bilbo and Thorin’s wedding day. 

_**2\. The Music** _

Bilbo had warned Thorin that they should have invited the band to Erebor to hear them before they agreed to hire them, just to make sure they would be able to perform adequately on the day of the wedding and they wouldn't be left with any nasty surprises. Or even to hire Bofur to play his flute alongside some of the other Dwarrow that had migrated to Erebor after it was reclaimed, but Thorin wouldn’t have it. And as much as Bilbo adored him, he couldn’t deny that he was the most stubborn Dwarf he had ever met. And that was saying something. 

But as he often did with his betrothed, Bilbo ended up agreeing with him. It wouldn’t be fair if he made all of the decisions himself, since it  _ was  _ Thorin’s day just as much as it was his. 

Bilbo had never regretted a decision so much in his life. 

After the flower incident, he just wanted to forget about it and start the ceremony, believing that things would get better as the day went on. After all, the sun was shining beautifully in their favour, all of their friends were here, and Bilbo was about to get married to his One. What else could possibly go wrong? 

Well, he found out the answer to that when the band started playing as soon as Bilbo stepped onto the flower petal path leading up to the altar, where Thorin was standing so majestically and looking like he might sob just from looking at his betrothed all dressed up for him. It should have been a beautiful moment, but everyone around them was now collectively cringing at the horrific screeching of instruments to Bilbo’s left, and the Hobbit was close to enraged that he had given in to his fiance so easily. 

The Hobbit drew in a deep, shaky inhale and tried to ignore it as best he could, knowing that he just needed to hold out until he got to the aisle, and then the band would need to stop to allow the older Hobbit taking care of the ceremony to speak. But the walk down the aisle felt like it was taking decades, every little note that the band missed echoing through the field like a distressed elephant with an air horn stuck in its nose, almost reminding Bilbo of the time he dropped a fork down the toilet as a fauntling,  _ just to see what would happen _ .

The sound seemed to be following Bilbo as he got closer to the altar, rather than fade away as he walked further from them. It was driving him up the wall, making him want to shrink into himself, and he felt terribly guilty that the first time Thorin saw him on their wedding day, he was visibly cringing. And all because they didn’t bring the band to Erebor to listen to them in person before agreeing on them. Bilbo felt himself exhale in relief when the band finally stopped to allow the ceremony to begin. Just as well, too, because the cacophony was starting to hurt his pointed little ears terribly.

And Bilbo was confident that would be the last horrible thing to occur on their wedding day. He could relax now, and just enjoy himself.

_**3\. The Braiding Ceremony** _

Bilbo had been practicing his part in the braiding ceremony non-stop in the weeks leading up to the wedding. It was an important part of Dwarrow culture, and Bilbo had wanted to include it right from the start of the planning process. Thought it would be nice for the Hobbits of the Shire to learn about some Dwarvish customs. A nice little educational moment for them. Two braids for each of them to signify the binding of the two souls together. 

And it would have helped the Hobbits to learn more about this if he hadn't been practicing on the wrong side the entire time.

Bilbo was completely confident as he started separating the strands into three sections, moving a lot more quickly now than when he had first started. It had taken ages for him to figure out how to part the sections correctly, how to place them over each other and in which order. Thorin hadn’t been allowed to help him, it was some sort of Dwarvish rule that Bilbo didn’t exactly understand. He had a hard time understanding many things about his fiance’s culture. 

Bilbo was glad that the Dwarf didn’t let him go too far in the wrong direction, although the taller did stare down at him for a few moments as if trying to mentally communicate to him that he was working the braid into the wrong side of his hair. When that didn’t work, he ended up having to let him know verbally.

“The other side,” Thorin whispered as quietly as he could once Bilbo’s little hands started getting to work on the strands of hair tucked behind his right ear. Despite the Dwarf’s attempt to keep the mistake as discreet as possible, it probably didn't help that Bilbo’s face flushed absolutely crimson at his own mistake, and he cleared his throat softly, pulled apart the braid he'd finished, and got to work on the left side instead. 

At least Bilbo managed to remember his vows as he worked, pulling one strand over another and another over that one over and over until the length of hair between his fingers had been completely braided. 

Bilbo had never been so embarrassed in his life; he could  _ feel  _ the gaze of the Dwarves sitting on the benches on Thorin’s side burning into the side of his head, which only made him feel completely foolish and blush even harder than he already had been. 

It did help Bilbo to settle down a little bit, at least, when Thorin’s warm, large hand moved to his left side and started braiding the little curls he’d allowed to grow out for this singular purpose with much more skill than Bilbo. It barely took him a few moments, his hands so used to the action that must have been committed to muscle memory by now that they were able to complete the task in record time. And then…

_ “You may now share your first kiss as a married couple.”  _

_**4\. Gate Crasher** _

Honestly, Bilbo should have anticipated that Lobelia Sackville-Baggins would turn up to the wedding uninvited. 

But he had been too busy worrying about everything else, that it didn’t even cross his mind until it was actually happening. 

Bilbo and Thorin had only just settled down at the head table after the ceremony ended and it was time to enjoy the rest of the evening with music, good food and dancing. Bilbo's favourite part of any wedding. The toasts were about to begin, and while Thorin had begged him to leave this rather embarrassing part of the wedding out of their celebration, Bilbo just couldn’t resist adding it in. It was part of his culture, one that the Dwarves didn’t really take much part in, and Bilbo really just wanted to give the company an excuse to embarrass Thorin as much as possible.

Was that completely evil of him? Perhaps. 

But he didn’t have much time to snicker to himself at all of the stories Bofur was telling so eloquently, because a terribly familiar shrill voice started to echo through the huge halls of Erebor and startled him out of his own amusement. 

_ “No cousin of mine is going to marry a Dwarf!! I am here to take him home and knock some sense into him, let him know that he shouldn’t be mixing races so carelessly! What will people think!?” _

Bilbo sighed loudly and dropped his head to smack off of the table, ignoring Thorin’s chuckles at his reaction to his delightful family member’s arrival, before the Hobbit pushed his chair back, hopped down from it and padded over to where Lobelia was bustling through the door and into the celebration hall, very visibly wrinkling her nose up at all of the Dwarrow sitting around the tables. Her expression wasn’t as fierce as when it landed on Thorin, however, especially when she all but growled at him.

“Lobelia, you know you were not invited,” Bilbo huffed under his breath when he got close enough to her, resting his hands on her shoulders and trying to push her back out of the door. He didn’t need  _ another  _ thing messing up their day. “I have to ask you to leave, or you will be made to, and you will not like that.” 

As if on cue, exactly when Lobelia was about to gasp out something along the lines of  _ and just what do you mean by that!?  _ Dwalin appeared by Bilbo’s side, cracking his knuckles and looming over the Hobbit in a protective stance. Thank any God who would listen for Dwalin, because Bilbo would not have appeared anywhere near intimidating enough if he had been standing there by himself.

But Lobelia still argued back, claiming that she thought what Bilbo was doing was disgusting, not just in marrying a man but in marrying a Dwarf. Exclaiming about how it was wrong, and how everyone in the hall would be punished in the afterlife for taking part in this transgression.

It was safe to say Dwalin didn’t have any qualms about grabbing her and tossing her out after that. 

_**5\. The Food** _

Really, the pair weren’t even surprised anymore when an argument started up about the food. 

First, the Hobbits were complaining that the Dwarves were eating all of the food.

Then, the Dwarves pointed out that they had, in fact, left the vegetables for the Hobbits. It seemed Bilbo’s attempt to try and get the Dwarrow to eat more greens hadn’t exactly worked out as he had hoped. 

This meant that they had to break out the emergency backup supply of food. At least they had anticipated that  _ something  _ would happen where the food was considered, and had the sense to take some precautions regarding that. So, Bilbo had the cooks bring out the extra food, but when he told the Dwarves that since they’d had their fill, this round was for the Hobbits, it only sparked up more arguments.

Bilbo felt like he couldn’t win, there was shouting and arguing from every end of the hall and it was all growing so deafeningly  _ loud  _ that he had to bring his little hands up to cover his sensitive ears. Upon noticing this was when Thorin decided that he’d had enough. He couldn’t just let people bother his new spouse like this, and he was probably the only one they would listen to. So he had to at least try.

“Enough!” Thorin called out and stood from his chair, nodding when everyone fell silent and turned to look at him. “If my consort says that this food is only for the Hobbits, then it is only for the Hobbits. Everyone must eat their fill, and you, my kinsmen, have already eaten yours.” Thorin glared over at Bofur when he was about to argue, silencing him instantly. “Does anyone have a disagreement?” Thorin asked, although it was very clearly rhetorical. No one was about to argue with the King Under The Mountain over some food.

“Excellent. Then let us enjoy the rest of our dinner in harmony, yes?”

Bilbo had never been more grateful for Thorin Oakenshield in his life. 

_**1\. The First Dance** _

After all of the things that had gone wrong on that day, both Bilbo and Thorin were exhausted. They had expected their wedding day to go without issue, to look back on it and think of it as the happiest day of their lives. 

At least it would be memorable, that's for sure.

Bilbo almost wanted to refuse when they were called up for their first dance, terrified that their last good thing might turn out bad, too. But he wanted to give it a chance, at least, so he allowed Thorin to take his hand and lead him over to the designated dancing area with a small smile on both of their faces. They stepped back from each other, gave a bow, and started a slow dance that was really a mixture of dances from both of their cultures. 

When Bilbo’s foot scuffed against the flower petals spread over the floor upon trying to move around them and avoid slipping on them, he couldn’t help but glance down at his feet, only to find…

White flower petals?

The Hobbit glanced up at Thorin with a curious stare, his brows furrowing together into a slight frown when he saw the smirk on the King’s face. And then… The music. It was beautiful. Bilbo spared a look over at where the band were sitting, only to find Bofur and his friends playing in the most ethereal way possible. It made Bilbo feel like he was back in Rivendell again, honestly. 

“How…?” Bilbo whispered when he turned back to Thorin, allowing the Dwarf to spin him gently.

“I had someone go and fetch some white flowers and sprinkle the petals over the floor while you were listening to the toasts,” Thorin explained in a murmur, pulling Bilbo flush against his chest so that they could sway slowly together. “Bofur offered to get his band together and play for us after he heard the atrocious music at the ceremony. Do you like it?”

“Thorin…” Bilbo chuckled breathlessly, hardly able to believe that his husband had gone through the bother just to make him happy. He really was lucky to have him as his One. “I love it. Thank you..” Bilbo leaned up on his tiptoes to press an incredibly soft kiss to Thorin’s lips, humming happily at the feeling of the large hand resting on his back as Thorin held him close. “Men lananubukhs me.” 

“Men lananubukhs me,  amrâlimê .” Thorin returned in a whisper against Bilbo’s lips before the Hobbit rested back down on his heels, allowing Thorin to sweep him across the dancefloor as more people joined them in their dance, feeling like his heart was about to burst in his chest with how much love it contained for his Dwarf. And knowing that he was now bound to his Dwarf forever, only made his heart ache more. He was so glad to be married to the perfect man. And Thorin felt exactly the same as he moved with his Hobbit, dancing with him into the starry night.

And they lived happily ever after. 

**Author's Note:**

> Men lananubukhs me = I love you  
> amrâlimê = my love


End file.
